HOW I SPENT MY SUMMER VACATION, Part 1: Indian Camp

When I said we were going to an Indian Camp to be held in Estonia in July, it drew a "huh?" or two from people on both sides of the Atlantic. And when the event was first described to me, I thought immediately to the South American Indians who play panpipe Muzak on city squares and shopping streets -- the only Native Americans with a recognizable presence in Europe -- some sort of festival and craft market, I guessed.

It quickly became clear that this was a more spiritual type of retreat. The people who were recommending that we take part in the four-day camp had previously led us on an interesting experience. About three years ago, we drove to a farmhouse outside Haapsalu where our host did what only can be described in the funk genre as "took us higher", going on and on about energy, even giving us the readout in some proprietary unit of his own devising of exactly how much energy we were generating. Yes, it was highly weird, and I am very unreceptive, but he did have some hypnotic power and was surrounded by a coterie of young women who had made the trip from Tallinn, they lolled on the carpet before him and I found myself wondering whether at that moment, in a nation that is officially the least religious in Europe, other people in farmhouses were similarly rapt. Estonia has had a suprising number of homegrown prophets and sect leaders over the years. In any case, the guy who led the session hasn't appeared in the news yet; long may he continue to meter energy.

The most obvious religious overtone at Indian Camp was the fact that most of the Native American guests were ministers or lay leaders with the Native American Church. It couldn't have further from a missionary event, though. It was a down-to-earth, gossamer overlay of humility and respect and gratitude that was never intrusive.

I think we were lucky to have caught Indian Camp at an interesting point in its 13-year evolution. It started back in 1996, when a couple of well-traveled and open-minded Estonian folk musicians, the Urb Brothers, first started holding ceremonies in the Estonian woods with Native American friends of theirs. Besides a change of location or two to Yet Another Unbelievably Unspoiled Place, the happening hasn't strayed too far from its spontaneous and communal roots.

Certain requisite elements like a modest registration fee and wristband (friendship bracelet) have inevitably crept in, but it is still very decentralized, with no strict schedules. Most of the 70-80 participants were very sincere, perhaps sincere to a fault -- making the curmudgeonly folks (and even the slightly wry people) stand out. And there was a slightly bombastic sense of self-mythology, with participants always seeming to be referencing the gathering's own gestaltic energy. And the definite existence of an Inner and Outer Circle... I speculated whether, after the official close of the camp, there would be an actual peyote ceremony for the Inside Circle and people being groomed for the Inside Circle. But I never found out, being way on the outside.

**

There's more to the Native American-Estonian axis than just some spaced-out Rainbow Gathering scented with sage and an exotic cultural overtone. I saw the event as a straight-up world council between First Nations. On one side of a big circle, you have the Estonians, with their ancient presence in the country and strange language full of distant echoes of steppes and land bridges, an indigenous people, and a highly successful one by most standards, with their own nation-state... but perhaps they've started to forget their roots. Fifty years of shabby materialism followed by 20 years of not-very-affluent consumerist society will do that to you, I suppose.

Native Americans in the US are of course a very different case. My very limited impression is that they are exiled to huddlements across the parched West and form a ragged diaspora in other, more populated places. But anyone who has survived to adulthood in one piece seems to have a extremely ethno-conscious mindset.

Mexico is a different case altogether. I chuckled when Henry Oso Quintero, a poet from New Mexico who was a guest of the camp, referred to himself as a member of the "Apache and Mexican" tribes, but he explained later that he was pretty serious; mestizo pride is serious business. Almost everyone in Estonia is a mestizo, of course, but I guess European identity has trumped it.

**

After the initial gathering of the tribes at Indian Camp, volunteers were divided into three groups, two of which set to felling saplings and gathering fieldstones for the sweat lodges. The third group erected the tipis -- the traditional hearth and home -- but it's safe to say tis Indian Camp centred around the sweat lodges on the beach, followed by the Estonian farmhouse where three meals a day were served, and very little happened at the tipis, though we passed the tipis each time we walked between the farmhouse and the beach.

If you asked people why they were at Indian Camp, the most common answer was "to sweat".
What's interesting is that everyone from Tierra del Fuego to the Bering Strait and across again to the Livonian coast apparently speaks the language of the sauna or sweat lodge. This was news to me. While no doubt familiar with 110 degree days, I didn't expect a Hopi to be able to withstand a 200-degree sauna -- I steeled myself for the same sense of disappointment that I get when upon entering a commercial steam room in a American hotel -- but it quickly became clear that these Indians could have been old crusty Finns from the north woods.

The main differences are that the sweat lodge is a spiritual, almost religious ceremony. Estonians revere the sauna in their own way, but all too often sauna is an occasion for "beerchat", as organizer Priit Kuusik put it.

The differences, and some of these apply to the camp in general:

1) Participants don't sit unidirectionally on pine boards with a view of bevelled pine boards. They sit in a circle on damp sand in a dark wigwam draped with canvas.

2) Everything happens in circles (as it does anywhere in Indian camp), and within the circle, everything travels clockwise.

3) The rocks are believed to have an animist life force and are only used once.

4) No alcohol (as indeed, anywhere in the camp).

5) Lots of hugging.

One of the Natives led each ceremony in each of the four lodges, anyone can speak at will. But it's so damn hot, and the atmosphere is so profoundly charged with the sacred, that the words come out different. After two rounds, I wanted out. I wanted to say, "Let me out of here," but what everyone heard was, "I feel the urge to immerse myself in the waters to temper myself for what lies ahead."

Good God -- I could never be a cult leader; I couldn't take myself seriously with pretentious mock-Tudor pronouncements like this. I think Henry Oso Quintero laid a good-natured hand on my shoulder and said, "You'll be fine, dude. Stick it out."

Which I did. But I have to say it was the most grueling sauna I have been in, except for the time in Pirita TOP when someone who looked like Alexander Karelin, the Russian wrestler, came in, looking like he had recently been wrought at the elemental forge, and basically extinguished a 85 degree sauna singlehandedly without asking permission to douse the rocks.

Here the spiritual was integrated with the physical exertion. It was a passion play. When you needed to duck down to cooler climes, even the position you assumed was one of genuflection.

**

Like any event, it was a human carnival, too.

After the people who said they were there "to sweat" (we told each other what we were here for the talking circle; I was one of the "to sweat folks"), I'd say about one-quarter of people were there for sentimental-mystical reasons. For some reason, these people also generally cried a lot when speaking. Tears of joy and gratitude at being alive and catharsis poured down their face, or I hope they were that kind of tears, though I wasn't always sure. Generally they used their time in the talking circle to self-reference Indian Camp. This frustrated me, because one thing I always took away from any sort of group gathering was the Unspoken Thing. It always seemed to me that as soon you started talking about the power you were generating, the power vanished (unless you were metering psychic energy like the guy in Haapsalu). If I had a T-shirt that said, "It's the Unspoken Thing, stupid", I would wear it. Except people wouldn't see it in the dark.

Oddly, probably 1 in 10 participants were there "just to see an Indian" in the flesh, to see what they looked like. I found this a bit superficial, a bit odd -- but then again, I myself had driven hundreds of miles out of my way to pass through reservations in the American West to see what Indians really lived like -- to see the side of Indian culture I didn't see on the pawnshops on Main Street in Small Town America. (Incidentally, it looked a lot like the back alley behind the pawnshop.)

One young sporty guy was there for "military reasons". I have no idea what this was about. When it was his turn to talk in the talking circle, he talked in graphic detail about some obscure bloody battle that had been fought outside Stalingrad. I'm not sure if he was trying to inject a humorous note of crazed militarism, Merry Prankster-style, into the proceedings, or if he was just crazy. Then I noticed that he was hanging out with my wife on practically every occasion, and I started thinking about violence.

Then there were two young guys there with innocent moonfaces and primal Finno-Ugric names -- something like Seppo and Lembitu, something like that, a Finnic version of Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Although I suspected that they were a bit slow, I had to admire their sincerity and openness. In the talking circle, Seppo talked about how he would do "any task or work the camp would see fit to assign him -- without any argument from me!" My impression that they were "artistic" was countered dramatically when my wife picked up a copy of a bookstore newsletter that someone had brought to the camp and there was a pictre of Seppo and Lembitu -- the article said that these guys were two of Estonia's few Indigo Children. I don't know if you know what an Indigo Child is -- I was unclear on the concept myself and thought it had something to do with being born on August 20, 1991 -- but apparently they are Homo futurus, the centre of the new world order, conduits for the very kind of energy and synergy that Indian Camp was supposed to channel... Which was sort of cool, it seemed to parallel every "meek shall inherit" messianic narrative I had heard, as they were very humble and likeable people in their own way.

Laughagainistan

Last summer, the blockbuster of the year, Lafghanistan, made you split your sides. This winter, get ready to laugh again, and even longer. Laughagainistan: Director's Cut...

Scene I: Operation Crevice press conference

(a crowded briefing room, cameras pop and flare)

BRITISH GENERAL: Philip McCrevice. (Laughter) No really -- Philip McCrevice. Could we have some order in here? As I was saying, yes, the operation was designed by Philip McCrevice --

(Laughter.)

-- and Philip McCrevice happens to be one of the best operations designers in Britain.

AMERICAN LIAISON: He's worked with Benetton. Did the Lynndie England ads. Very edgy stuff.

BRITISH GENERAL: When we requested a plan to penetrate presumed terrorist networks in this country, logistics had only one thing to say to us: 'Philip McCrevice, sir.'

AMERICAN LIAISON (nodding): Philip McCrevice.

BRITISH GENERAL: And we followed their advice. And it has been mutually satisfying.

(uproarious laughter)

JOURNALIST #1 (wiping tears from his eyes): Sir, how did this latest arrest go down? Was the public ever at risk?

BRITISH GENERAL: Our crack team apprehended Amon Dul at an upscale fish and chips restaurant. Mr. Dul was in the act of surreptitiously emptying out a basket of complimentary matches by the door. I should note the investigation was brought to a climax by the Home Office's own Operation Panopticome, which had filmed Mr. Dul buying socks earlier that day in an area even we did not know we had cameras in.

AMERICAN LIAISON: The socks were not in his foot size.

BRITISH GENERAL: We believe that he intended to use the matches to set fire to his socks in a public place. Or that he intended to extract a volatile ingredient from the after-dinner mints, which were also stolen from the restaurant, and use the socks as a wicking device. It could also have been that..

AMERICAN LIAISON: We treated it on the same level of seriousness as last month's incident where Bed, Bath & Beyond received suspiciously large orders for potentially flammable soft cushions. As in the case of that Pillow Fight episode, I believe we were one step ahead of the public; that is, we firmly believe the public was never at risk from the Sock Bomber.

(murmuring from the press corps)

AMERICAN LIAISON: One at a time, please.

JOURNALIST #2: There's been much concern about blurring of the boundaries between military and civilian authorities. Should the Sock Bomber should be brought before a military tribunal?

BRITISH GENERAL: We're aware of that, and that's why we've taken action in the most stringent, meticulous and relentless civil instance available to us -- libel court in London.

AMERICAN LIAISON (holding a finger to his ear): Speaking of slander, I'm just hearing this from the networks. An Operation Crevice informant named Abdullah Jizza has just led to the arrest of a Guatemalan national for talking. This is breaking news, folks.

JOURNALIST #2: Is the Guatemalan also involved in the sock bomb plot?

BRITISH GENERAL (looks over at the liaison, then puts his finger to his ear as well): No, he was talking. (Pause.) He was...yes. We're waiting for a Spanish interpreter from the Americans to see what he is saying. He worked as a dishwasher at the fish and chips restaurant. Perhaps 'arrest' would not be the right word, but he is being held preventively for his own safety, as is Mr. Jizza, because my colleague here has just publicly disclosed his name.

AMERICAN LIAISON: That's Jizza. Yes. J-I-Z -- More on that as it develops. We're out of time, folks.

(The men hurry together, holding hands, to a waiting helicopter.)

(Camera zooms out to reveal the press conference and helicopter are part of a film set.)

DIRECTOR: OK, that's a wrap. We'll do the chopper crash first thing tomorrow.

NEXT: Scene 2 -- Helmand's Mayonnaise!

LEAKED: Draft lesson plan for Obama's speech

Alternative Study-Pak
Menu of Classroom Activities
President Obama's Address to Students Across America
September 8, 2009

BEFORE THE SPEECH:

What landmark events in national history do you associate with presidents reading to schoolchildren in the first half of September? Do you remember what the book was and what happened in the end? Why not?

Now think about speaking. What landmark events do you associate with presidents delivering eloquent addresses to schoolchildren in the first half of September? What are your feelings regarding today's address?

Do you think the President, in his speech today, will mention the educational success of the troops fighting in Afghanistan? Which do you think he is more likely to mention: the educational success of the troops currently fighting terrorism in Afghanistan or the educational success of the troops being pulled out of Iraq? Which do you think will have greater educational success?

What elements in his speech will be similar to a speech delivered by the former President, if he were to address students in a similar situation? What might be different?

On the same topic, do you think a former president's supporters are bitter about not coming up with the idea of speaking to schoolchildren? Do you think President Obama will try to assuage such potential bitterness in his speech in an eloquent and diplomatic manner, or simply move forward proactively?

Speeches before Congress are often followed by a rebuttal. Should there be a rebuttal to President Obama's speech? Why not?

Do you find that the above questions are divisive and counterproductive? Do they resonate with you or make you uncomfortable?

Do you think the President will be eloquent?

Will he be equal parts inspiring and eloquent, somewhat more eloquent than inspiring, or vice versa?

Finally, what do you think your President will say about personal goals? Make a large print sign with your personal educational goals on it and post it on the wall.

AFTER THE SPEECH:

Did your President address personal goals? If not, take down the signs with the personal goals and tear them up.

Did your President talk about collective goals? If so, make a new sign with the keywords
from that part of the speech, and post them in the classroom.

You will now be read quotations. In your opinion, how likely it is that your President may have said something like this in the past?

1. "Ask not what your homeland can do for you but what you can do for your homeland."

(End of section.)

What, if anything, did you disagree with in your President's speech? (Instructions: Do not attempt to merely rephrase excerpts more eloquently, which is impossible, but think about the content.)

Imagine you were president. What would you say in your speech? Make a large print sign with an excerpt from your speech and post it on the classroom wall.

Now tear it up.