United we slam

I first saw the advertisement on Liivalaia tänav. The same place where I had seen that ominous loop-like Edgar Savisaar ad before local elections. Liivalaia is the ugliest street in the centre of Tallinn and the one with the poorest air quality, a giant multi-lane pedestrian-unfriendly wind tunnel lined by Soviet and modern buildings and the odd wooden structure hanging on for dear life. It's a place where there's not much to do but shuffle down the street pretending to be disenfranchised looking at populist ads, until you finally get to Stockmann and do your premium shopping.

As I dodged a spray of mud from a passing Mercedes speeding from posh Nõmme to posh Viimsi, the ad caught my eye -- it was for a new political party, United Estonia (Ühtne Eesti), and it promised three hectares of land to anyone who moves to the countryside.



Three hectares! But because I was in character on Liivalaia, my first reaction was to laugh ruefully and bitterly -- we bought one hectare of rural land only last year. We didn't pay too much, I don't think, even though the recession deepened right after we bought it -- but I had a little bit of remorse over not using my crony connections. Estonia of course is one of the world's least corrupt but most cronyistic countries. It's time to develop some cronies.

Now a party was backing genuine homesteading, not anything lame like free potatoes. Well, it was something to cheer.

If it was something to cheer, that meant it couldn't be true, and sure enough, it wasn't. The United Estonia party turned out to be the fictitious creation of NO99, a theatre known for its edgy and experimental productions.

Or not so fictitious. In the days that followed it turned out that it was quite an ambitious campaign, this was no obscure off-off-Broadway production. NO99 has created a full-scale communications universe, with regular press conferences, even including a 1989-style theme song (anthem).

It all culminates in their party congress at the country's largest indoor sports arena. The May 7 event sold out in just a couple days. Faster than Walking with Dinosaurs. Faster than Rammstein with the promise of porn.

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The convention will make May a lot more exciting and edgy, not just busy.

May has been the month of civic initiative in Estonia in recent years. It's good, everyone cleaning up and building things like before the Mighty Quinn. I'm not going to knock it. Like the kibbutzniks in the ehitusmalevad, or student camps, in Soviet days - now with a NGO template. Late April has traditionally been a time of revolts and dark spirits, culminating in April 30, when the country exorcises its demons, shakes off its hangover and gets to work.

The first May 1 event was the trash cleanup of 2008, last year's countrywide bs (short for brainstorming) sessions, and now this year, the talgupäevad, which translates as countrywide miscellaneous community action day.

Smart money for a while was on a new political party evolving out of these disparate May 1 community projects. Now people are saying the same kinds of things about May 7, almost as if it is they are oblivious that United Estonia was cooked up by an alternative theatre to take the piss out of politicians.

One opposition politician says that it would be strange if unemployment -- Estonia's biggest problem right now -- would not result in a new political party. Yes, it's high time, but will United Estonia turn into a real force? I think it's a bit of a silly question. If you heard an underground theatre was doing existential political theatre in the western West, wouldn't it be a bunch of nihilist pranksters?

I personally doubt that you can go from taking the piss to viable constructive force, not in one move. Perhaps United Estonia will remain a T-shirt phenomenon, such as when Juku-Kalle Raid printed up "Kommarid ahju" T-shirts. Perhaps Indrek Tarand or whoever is the next Tarand, the maverick protest candidate, will grace United Estonia with their presence.

I have to say I have a little trouble following all the United Estonia activity. The logos and images are top-notch, but the live stuff does not come off that well. I'm not always really sure if the "politicians" are in character or not. Then again, I don't go to the theatre often enough. I'm rusty when it comes to criticism.

Politically, I do doubt the net good will increase -- I mean, right now people's trust in politicians is at a historical low. It's not like anyone needs to be made more aware of failings or sharpen their satirical rapiers any more.

People love to roast the opposition populist Savisaar, but it has accomplished nothing. It is like we roast him comically because we love him so much -- one could get that idea, which is a shame, because Savisaar has done much to hurt Tallinn and make it a more tawdry, inefficient place. The grumbling about the Reform Party and Ansip is more unfocused and less sure of itself. So it would be pointless if the party congress just ends up being a compendium for various gripes. That won't solve anything.

At the end of the day, United Estonia is just art. Maybe it will be a force for culture; at least we can hope for that much. And if they do come off with a clever, interactive ending on May 7, more power to them -- perhaps literally.

HACKED: An unwanted prank

It's not April Fool's Day. Maybe it's April Fool's Day according to the Julian calendar. Anyway, last night, just after I had logged off, this blog was hacked.

I've always been concerned in the back of my mind about the single password entry to the Blogger profile and the fact that it is connected to my Google profile, which is related to Gmail. I use Windows XP and although I run AVG and a battery of other anti-spyware, use different passwords, etc, I can never be sure that my machine is perfectly clean. I remember logging into Paypal for the first time in six months, and the next day I received a phishing attempt that referred to my recent Paypal activity.

Whoever deleted my last three blog posts and posted a woefully unoriginal entry of their own had also been into my Gmail account. All of the latest logins to Gmail were from IP addresses around Tallinn, except for one, which was from a foreign country. Amateur? Undoubtedly. I'm a nobody, not worth the trouble to be blacklisted by the FSB. (I keep anything important encrypted so nothing business or personal was compromised.)

But since my last three blog posts, which were deleted, were in some way about the Russian Federation, I want to make one thing clear, though it should be obvious. This is not an anti-Russian or a "Russophobe" site. Apart from stock stereotypes such as parodies of Soviet leaders -- "comrade humor" -- I don't go in for disparaging the Russian national identity, language, culture. Only in the instances and to the extent to which it is wielded in a chauvinist manner.

There haven't been any rhetorical attacks on the Baltics recently, for domestic consumption or otherwise. It's been quiet. But there have been other decisions, such as purchases of amphibious assault vessels. And a decision to deploy Iskander missiles on the border of the Baltics. Domestically, to my knowledge, there has been no turnaround in terms of the lack of certain civil liberties in Russia.

This blog spent much time lampooning the misguided Middle Eastern wars, which I oppose, but as long as the blog waxes political, it should sometimes look at the Russian Federation's behaviour critically. That's something that there will be more of.

No, I am not looking forward to the Sochi Games, which was one of the deleted pieces. Yet I actually do want to visit Russia -- have not been there since 1991. I just want to do it in a free and secure environment. I don't want to worry about being questioned by the authorities, silenced or worse. This cyber-incident doesn't make feel any more at ease.

The other thing I expect -- naively, stubbornly -- is an apology for the Soviet occupation. I'm not even talking about reparations, but at least an acknowledgment of responsibility.